as time goes by (or bring on the birthday (cheese)cake!)

So…Daniel. Yeah, he’s cool.

Here I was, reading along, doing my observations on Daniel 4, not really expecting any surprises…after all…I have read it before. King Nebuchadnezzar is giving his testimony about the second prophetic dream the Lord gave him. Like the first, none of his magicians and conjurers or wise men can interpret it for him. Then I come along to verse 8…little old, unobtrusive verse 8. I didn’t even get through the whole verse…just the first five words: “But finally Daniel came in”. Finally? Finally Daniel came in? Where was Daniel? By this time, he and Nebby were good buddies, right? He had already done such a great job interpreting the king’s first dream. Nebuchadnezzar declared that “a spirit of the gods” was in Daniel and made him Chief Magician…so where was he when his subordinates were fumbling around all incompetent? One would think he’d be the first one called in. Why all the fuss? Why waste time?

This Sunday in Small Church we studied the story of Lazarus in John 11. Jesus hears his friend is sick and then waits two days before even starting to head in his direction. Lazarus has been dead for four days by the time Jesus arrives. Martha and Mary both know that Lazarus would not have died had Jesus been with him…so why wait? Christ even wept with them, though He was fully aware He would shortly call Lazarus forth from the grave. Why all the fuss of letting Lazarus die at all? Why wait?

Lazarus’ passing through death, and having the ties that bound him removed reminded me of Daniel’s three friends. Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego also could have questioned the Lord’s timing. If He was planning on delivering them anyway, why not do that before the all the fuss of the fire? Why wait??

I know one of the answers to this question is commonly “God brings us through the fire to refine us.” And I agree…God will certainly use circumstances in our lives to burn away those impurities and make us all shiny. But I think there’s another answer, and that’s the one He’s hammering into my heart. Sometimes…it might not be about us at all. Sometimes…it’s about Him. Why send in the magicians and conjurers again? Why let Lazarus die? Why roast the faithful Jews? And getting ahead of myself a little…why throw Daniel in with the lions (who, by the way, was found innocent before the king AND the Lord…so I’m not so sure about the need for refining there)? Why wait?

Because it brings Him more glory.

How much more memorable is it to deliver Your servants from a roaring furnace, or a lions’ den, than to simply allow them to escape the king's hand? How much more astounding is it to raise a man from the dead than to heal a sick man? Because sometimes sick men (like those turned into newts) get better. How much more impressive was Daniel’s ability to interpret the dream when no one else was found capable? God waited, and His waiting brings Him the most glory.

So, let’s get practical. Why is this important to me? I am about to turn 28. And I’ve been whining about that a bit. I would be fine with being 28…if I were married. If I could see a family in my near future. If my life was going as I had planned, according to my schedule. And I’m tired of being told to wait; that God’s preparing me…or refining me…or whatever me. I feel prepared. To be perfectly honest, I feel like I can relate to Daniel pretty well right now. I’m found living in obedience, innocent before the Lord. (Please don’t misunderstand me…I’m quite aware of my sinfulness…but as far as where God is calling me, and what He is calling me to do…I am confident that I am right where He would have me.) So, why wait?

What if…it’s all about Him? What if all this waiting will bring Him the most glory? I can live with that. In fact, isn’t that what I’m living for?

So, no more complaining about being old. I will hold fast to this truth: God orchestrates events and circumstances to bring glory to Himself…and He’s all about the timing. My patience will be rooted in knowing not just that He is working things out for my good; He is working things out for His glory. In all my struggles with singleness, this is the most precious truth He has given me. And what amazes me is…this is not a new truth for me. It’s just been spoken a bit louder this last week, and I’ve heard it a little more clearly. Sometimes, God waits. But…

Finally, Daniel came in.

i can't resist

Got these pics of my niece this morning and they made my day, so I thought I'd share...

perhaps driving 2700 miles does something strange to a person...

My much anticipated Precepts study on Daniel started this week. As important as the overview lessons are, I’m anxious to dig into the book by chapter and verse. Hopefully, it will give me something to post about! It will definitely give me something to discuss with my dear friend Amy, which is convenient, given that all other topics were exhausted on the last leg of our recent trip. Thanks, Ames…I don’t know that I’ve ever had an 11-hour conversation before…but I’ve certainly never had one so enjoyable.

I’ve also started something new that should help me be more intentionally aware of God’s hand in my life and the lives of those around me. Will let you know how that goes…

Maybe it’s just the new digit at the end of my datestamp…but I feel the stirrings of change. (It could be the odd spring-like weather, too.) I don’t know. I can almost hear the rustle of impending adventure. I am in an entirely different frame of mind than I was at my last posting. Even my dreams seem to suggest a shift in current…but that’s probably more of a reflection of my time in Daniel rather than anything to do with reality.

Speaking of dreams (and reality)…I found myself doing something rather…peculiar…today. (Read: utterly and desperately neurotic) I woke up this morning remembering my dream quite clearly. In it, I had a conversation with a friend that troubled me. As I was taking a shower, wholly understanding that it occurred in a dream and did not actually happen, I started to contemplate why this friend said certain things.

Seriously.

Fully aware that I MADE IT UP IN MY HEAD, I still mulled over every word, nuance, and gesture…tried to search out his real motives. ..and then attempted to predict what would have happened if the dream hadn’t ended.

I need to be institutionalized. (Not where old people go, Jared...where CRAZY people go.)

out of egypt

I know. I know. It’s been awhile. I’ve been…busy. And lack of internet at home makes it harder to post. And, I’ve been busy. {Insert your own preferred excuse here.}

The truth is, I haven’t felt like I have anything to say. Not that things aren’t happening in my day-to-day life…I’ve moved to Midland, settled in at work, and increased my two favorite collections (books…and bowls). I’ve been all over the state to see friends and family, and out of the state to see AP. Christmas was wonderful, old friends are home, and the new year will start with a little “magic.” But I started this blog with the hope that it would be more than a daily journal of the mundane; that I would be able to chronicle the mighty works of God in one small girl’s life, and perhaps bring encouragement to you, Dear Reader. (Please note that I know God can be found in the mundane, and more regular journals can be highly diverting, as evidenced by those on the right.)

So, does my silence indicate a lack of mighty works from the hand of God? Am I empty of praises for the Lord, who has brought me out of Egypt? Has my throat become so dry and parched from the dusty road to Canaan that I can no longer raise my voice to sing out “Holy, Holy, Holy”?

How many times must He tell me about the springs in the desert…the living water that satisfies all thirst?

......

I was interrupted after writing the above and had to leave it be over the weekend. Interestingly, the sermon this Sunday was based on Deuteronomy 6:1-14.

"Be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." (De 6:12)

More on this later. I'm leaving today for a little road trip...and should have plenty of time to ponder this and other things on the drive.


May you remember the God of Israel, who brought His people out of Egypt, and is leading the way to a land of milk and honey.

jesus wore sandals

Barefoot. I stand on the edge of a vast desert, atop a hill, surveying the land around me. It is quiet, but it is not peaceful. It’s the lonesome kind of silence, tainted with longing. Longing for comfort, for water, for a friend. Longing for the still, small whisper of guidance. But there is nothing. This nothingness yawns before me like an endless orange ocean, only this ocean has been drained of every last drop of life-giving water. Then – Something. Barely distinguishable, among the counterfeit ocean’s waves of heat that rise from its floor, there is Something. No, Someone. He beckons silently.
“Why did you leave me here?” my soul cries out as the tears course hot down my face. “I am so thirsty!” Even to my own ears, I sound plaintive, childish. Accusing. He beckons once again, this time with a word.

“Come.”

I sink to my knees. “No. I can’t. It’s far too hot out there, and dry. I’ll never make it. Why can’t you just come back for me?”
“Beloved, this is where I am. I have not moved, nor will I. The scenery may change, but always, I am here. Waiting for you. Come to me.”
Reluctant, I stand, but remain on the top of my hill, yet unwilling to descend to the low, barren wasteland. I wipe at the tears, but they have long disappeared, victims of the searing sun and blistering wind, leaving behind only faint trails of salt and aching.
“Look, Child. Don’t you see? The nothingness may overwhelm you if you stay there. But look again…that nothingness is all that lies between you and Me. No barriers, no locked gates. Nothing.”
I am silent, but He pierces my heart. “Yes, nothing but my enemies…the sun, the sand, and the endless miles. I don’t want to go.”

My toes are burnt.

Praise Him for His mighty works;
Praise Him for His marvelous grace…
For He has stretched forth His mighty hand
And has smitten the waters:
He has made me to pass through dry-shod. Hallelujah!
For there will be no more sea.
There will be no more separation!
He has removed every barrier; He has bridged the gulf…
He has led me through the way of the wilderness,
And His hand has been a shade from the burning heat.
Through the barren wasteland, He has filled my cup from living streams.
- Frances J. Roberts

The poor and needy seek water, but there is none,
Their tongues fail for thirst.
I, the LORD, will hear them;
I, the God of Israel will not forsake them.
I will open rivers in the desolate heights,
And fountains in the midst of the valleys;
I will make the wilderness a pool of water,
And the dry land springs of water.
- Isaiah 41:17-18

At the hillside you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored by the river that pours
From our blessed Savior’s side
- Beautiful Scandalous Night

russian rambles

I finished The Brothers Karamazov this week…it took me almost as long to read it as it took Dostoievsky to write it. Many, far more qualified than this humble author, have reviewed this epic novel, so I hesitate to even attempt an articulation of my thoughts. Is it enough to say that it’s a riot of guilt and forgiveness, truth and perception, violent passions and steadfast faith? And in the end…I’m not at all sure which came out the victor. It left me with a rather startled and hollow feeling, as if my mind was not quite ready to grasp that the story was finished. It wasn’t wholly satisfying. But perhaps that’s just one reason works like this endure…the author asks questions and doesn’t offer pat answers. He creates characters that, though exaggerated, can highlight one’s own character…both the saint and the sinner. And he leaves the reader to her musings without dictating a specific response. In all, it was a worthwhile read. Still, I am somewhat relieved to have finished it! It was a long haul…
I am also glad to put away Tainted Love: God, Sex, and Relationships for the Not-So-Pure-At-Heart by David Mark Brown. I read most of it with slightly raised eyebrows. The only other thing I can think of to say is this: Using one’s given name in its entirety does not automatically make one a poet.

I’ve added a couple more on deck, and The Problem of Pain snuck in there ahead of Humility (sorry Michelle! I’ll get to it soon, I promise!). I’m starting to feel like I may be getting a bit ambitious, especially in light of starting a new job on Monday. I’m very thankful to have been offered this opportunity, but as my last days as a slacker slip away, I can’t help but feel sorry. I will miss the total lack of concern for how late it is…I will miss the freedom to stay in my pajamas all day…but mostly, I will miss spending precious time with my niece. I can hardly believe that she’s seven months old already, and I know going back to work will only make Time fly by on swifter wings.

Despite the recent bizarre weather, summer is coming. I can feel it stirring up all around…my college friends preparing (or not) for exams…core team meetings about upcoming events…the endless racks of swimsuits on display at Target. There’s just a general bite of anticipation in the air…changes are coming on this summer wind. They always do.

May you stand fast in all seasons, whether the wind rages or whispers enchantingly…may it not distract you from the still, small voice.

better than showbiz

Yes, I am old enough to have had a birthday party at ShowBiz Pizza Place. (“But you look so young!”) You young'uns may know it as Chuck E. Cheese’s, but whatever you call it, it’s always been the place where a kid can be a kid. Pizza, Whack-a-Mole, and freakish animatronic entertainment. What more could a girl ask for?



I was going to post something rather melancholy and beautiful about turning 27 years old today, but I have had too good of a birthday to be wistful. My celebration actually started last night when I checked my email and saw that my dear friend June had tagged me in a note entitled “Happy Birthday Shannon!” I couldn’t resist reading it a bit early. Dear June makes me cry. Today I had lunch with my mom, sister, and niece…I spent a few hours catching up with my friend Jeanna and her new son…I had dinner with my dad…I worshipped with my REAL brothers and sisters…and I ate a chocolate cupcake.

I also opened some really great gifts given in really great polka dot bags. Two books that made me squeal (not that charming of a sound!) when I saw them, a supremely appropriate book in its original language (that I don’t speak), a sketch by a young Miss Audrey, and an extra-special tee-shirt that reminds me to breathe. Oh, and some chocolate, of course.

What more could a girl ask for? To dam the wave of sentiment that threatens to flood us all, I will withhold any further details of how I feel about those who helped me celebrate this day…except to say “I love you. So much.” It is good to be 27.

May you feel the kisses of God today, and be completely swept off your feet.