russian rambles

I finished The Brothers Karamazov this week…it took me almost as long to read it as it took Dostoievsky to write it. Many, far more qualified than this humble author, have reviewed this epic novel, so I hesitate to even attempt an articulation of my thoughts. Is it enough to say that it’s a riot of guilt and forgiveness, truth and perception, violent passions and steadfast faith? And in the end…I’m not at all sure which came out the victor. It left me with a rather startled and hollow feeling, as if my mind was not quite ready to grasp that the story was finished. It wasn’t wholly satisfying. But perhaps that’s just one reason works like this endure…the author asks questions and doesn’t offer pat answers. He creates characters that, though exaggerated, can highlight one’s own character…both the saint and the sinner. And he leaves the reader to her musings without dictating a specific response. In all, it was a worthwhile read. Still, I am somewhat relieved to have finished it! It was a long haul…
I am also glad to put away Tainted Love: God, Sex, and Relationships for the Not-So-Pure-At-Heart by David Mark Brown. I read most of it with slightly raised eyebrows. The only other thing I can think of to say is this: Using one’s given name in its entirety does not automatically make one a poet.

I’ve added a couple more on deck, and The Problem of Pain snuck in there ahead of Humility (sorry Michelle! I’ll get to it soon, I promise!). I’m starting to feel like I may be getting a bit ambitious, especially in light of starting a new job on Monday. I’m very thankful to have been offered this opportunity, but as my last days as a slacker slip away, I can’t help but feel sorry. I will miss the total lack of concern for how late it is…I will miss the freedom to stay in my pajamas all day…but mostly, I will miss spending precious time with my niece. I can hardly believe that she’s seven months old already, and I know going back to work will only make Time fly by on swifter wings.

Despite the recent bizarre weather, summer is coming. I can feel it stirring up all around…my college friends preparing (or not) for exams…core team meetings about upcoming events…the endless racks of swimsuits on display at Target. There’s just a general bite of anticipation in the air…changes are coming on this summer wind. They always do.

May you stand fast in all seasons, whether the wind rages or whispers enchantingly…may it not distract you from the still, small voice.