How To of the Day: How to Cook a Snake

Thanks to my WikiHow gadget on my iGoogle page, I now know. This is the technologically savvy way of learning. The alternative method is to ask Jared.



I very nearly posted last month…honest. It was to be a tragic story of a girl who sacrificed her one real beauty in order to learn the intricacies of guitar playing so that she may share her glorious, albeit undiscovered, talents with the world. But then our supremely interesting heroine found a house, the guitar gathered dust, and the post grew cold. (On the sunny side, her nails are also growing! Of course, that means you’ll all miss out on her super-deep thoughts regarding the spiritual consequences of cutting one’s fingernails. Such is life.)

In addition to sucking up any possible free time that could be used for posting, this whole house buying process is having some noticeable effects on me. The first house I considered making an offer on cost me a night’s rest. The second house I considered (and am now purchasing) also stole away a few hours, even though I felt quite confident with the decision. But sleep deprivation is not that unusual given the circumstances. The unexpected effect is my loss of memory and/or normal brain function. It borders on amnesia. I present to you the following evidence:

1. 4th of July – I leave my pillow and a pair of jeans at The Flats…right after I chide myself for nearly forgetting my sunscreen. (A lot of good remembering the sunscreen did me the next day in Oscoda.)

2. Camping at Houghton Lake – I opened my travel toothbrush case and found it devoid of my travel toothbrush. I have no idea where it is. I had just used it the previous weekend…at the Flats. It is still missing.

3. REAL Leadership Meeting Discussion – Scheduled over a month ago for this week. Please read this reenactment of a conversation regarding this meeting (ok, technically not a reenactment, but I’m sure you can visualize):
Garrett: I talked to Jeff and he’s going to be late to the meeting.
Me: *blink*
…………(crickets)……………
Me: *blink* What meeting?
Garrett: (recovering quickly from the shock, celebrates with a gleeful, and somewhat disturbing, laugh…and a happy dance.)

4. Monday Night Book Club – I drive home and pull into my (Kels’) parking space. I reach to grab my book and my Bible. They are not on my passenger seat. They are at Garrett’s house.

5. Tuesday Night REAL Leadership Meeting – I drive home and pull into my (Kels’) parking space. I reach to grab my book bag. It is not on my passenger seat. It is at the Winter’s house.

6. Thursday Night Bible Study – A reunion with my book bag fails to produce my study notes for the Bible Study. They are not at the Winter’s. They are at home on my living room floor.

7. The above actions are neither normal nor acceptable. I am losing my mind.

Q.E.D.